i have an ulter ego.
it doent do things i dare do.
i dare to say i love...
.. i dare to ask.. do i?
... i dere to know its true...
...to find out myself...

i made her cry. she put the phone down on me.
that made me sad.
real sad.... i didnt meen it...
... soo much work to do... i am too tence..
.. i need to learn how to have a laugh ..
.. wile doing what i need to do...
...... im too anti social....at home... i need to open up..but i dont know how... that makes me sad.


i think she has been avoiding me for the past two weeks... we never talk any more.. i have seen her twice... both only for a couple of hours... i should be greatful. i dont deserve her... at the moment... i want to ... i want things different...


charming man is back.. thats one good thing... i can have a laugh again...

where has my life gone?... why cant my ulter ego say this...? why do i? ...

...what is this..?
..what do you care?